A Ghost’s Diary: My Family’s Regret

The summer I was four, my sister and I were playing by the river.

My sister slipped and fell into the water.

I reached out to pull her up, but I fell in too.

The current was strong, and the water choked me.

Later, someone pulled us out.

Mom rushed over and slapped me hard across the face.

"I told you to watch your sister! You almost killed her!"

"Did you do it on purpose?"

Her eyes were like knives, piercing me with a cold chill.

From that day on, my life changed.

If my sister ate candy and I stole a taste, Mom would punish me by not letting me eat for a whole day.

If my sister played with her doll and I touched it, Mom would lock me in the basement.

Dad tried to reason with Mom, but she would just hold my sister tightly in her arms.

"She caused Chloe's intellectual impairment. I can never forgive her for that."

"Chloe has suffered enough. I can't let her be wronged any further."

Dad fell silent.

So did I.

The year I turned eight, a Mr. Evans moved in next door.

He was always smiling, with all sorts of candies in his pockets.

That afternoon, he held out a lollipop, trying to lure my sister into his house.

My sister reached for it, but I rushed forward and blocked her way.

Mr. Evans's face darkened. He grabbed my arm and dragged me inside.

The door closed.

It was very dark.

It hurt so much.

By the time I stumbled back home, it was already dark.

When Mom saw me, she kicked me in the stomach.

"Luna Roscente, your sister is frail, and you pull a disappearing act!"

"Can't you ever give us a moment's peace?"

"I wish I'd never had you!"

I lay on the floor. My body ached, but my heart hurt even more.

I didn't cry.

I slowly got up and walked into my room.

From the very back of the wardrobe, I pulled out a red cloth bundle.

Inside was the gold locket Mom had given me long ago.

The locket was small and shiny, engraved with four words: "Long Life and Prosperity."

I looked at it for a long time.

Then I opened my mouth and swallowed it.

Mom, I don't want a long life anymore.

I just want you to be happy forever.

The gold locket stuck in my throat, hard and cold.

I forced myself to swallow, drinking all the cold water in the cup.

With a gulp, it finally slid down.

My stomach felt heavy, as if filled with a block of ice.

It hurt a little, and felt a bit numb.

Mom had once said swallowing gold could kill you.

I was a little scared, but I also felt a sense of relief.

If I die, will the pain stop?

If I die, will Mom stop being angry with me?

Mom pushed the door open and glared at me.

"Luna Roscente, what are you just standing there for?"

"Come out and eat. Your sister is hungry."

I followed her to the dining table.

My stomach felt worse and worse, as if a hand were twisting inside it.

I gritted my teeth and managed a few bites.

Dad glanced at me and reached out to feel my forehead.

"Luna, why are you so pale?"

Mom swatted his hand away and put a piece of spare rib on my sister's plate.

"What could possibly be wrong with her? She's just putting on an act."

"Don't mind her. Eat quickly. We'll take Chloe for a walk after."

My sister sat next to Mom, grinning at me.

She held the new teddy bear Mom had bought for her.

The gold locket in my stomach suddenly shifted.

I almost threw up.

Mom frowned.

"Can't you even eat a meal properly? Where are your manners?"

I forced a smile and whispered, "Mom, my stomach hurts."

"If you don't want to eat, then get back to your room! Don't just sit there being an eyesore!"

Dad opened his mouth but ultimately said nothing.

Before leaving, Mom told Dad:

"Ask old Leo next door to keep an eye on Luna."

A warmth spread in my chest.

Mom still cares about me.

But the next moment, Mom added impatiently:

"Don't let her cause any more trouble. Haven't we been burdened enough by her?"

So it wasn't worry for me.

It was fear I'd make trouble.

I don't like Mr. Evans.

He hurt me so much.

Dad spoke a few words to Mr. Evans.

Mr. Evans walked over, smiling.

"Luna, come to Uncle's house to watch cartoons."

Mom said coldly from the side, "Behave. Don't cause any trouble."

I didn't dare resist.

Resisting would make Mom and Dad unhappy.

I curled up in the corner of the sofa, my stomach hurting so much I drew into a ball.

Mr. Evans came over and pulled me into his arms.

"Luna, what's wrong? Are you feeling unwell?"

His hand rubbed my back.

I shuddered in fear. "It's nothing..."

Mr. Evans saw the cold sweat on my forehead, and his smile vanished.

"Damn it, don't you dare get really sick here."

He roughly pulled me up from the sofa, half-dragging, half-supporting me back to my house.