Baby for My Stepbrother

I could feel my body thrashing within the sheets of my bed, even though my thoughts were still trapped inside that crushed car. Opening my mouth, I finally bellowed out my pain, my eyes rapidly opening and closing as I fought off the painful memories of the day that stole my entire life away from me.

Shooting up in bed, I huddled within my blankets, pulling them up to my chest as I shook against the cold air in my room. I was soaked in sweat, my heart racing inside me and my breath coming out shallow and fast.

Strong arms wrapped around me, a presence in the room that I hadn’t noticed when I first woke up. “Again, Luna?”

It was Dane’s voice that broke through the silence of the darkroom. “Was it the same dream as always?”

“Yes,” I admitted. I hated that he sounded mad instead of comforting. I hated that he was obviously angry that I’d woken him up again.

“I need to switch to a room that’s not next to yours. Ever since you moved in, I haven’t been able to sleep through the night.”

Anger touched my thoughts, my spine straightening because it wasn’t my fault that the memories of my past continued to torment me. My stepbrother, Dane, was an asshole most of the time and I wondered why he bothered to come into my room each night that I woke up screaming. Was he trying to make me feel worse about the nightmare that was tearing me apart slowly?

“You need something that will help you sleep through the night. Sleep deeply, so that you don’t dream.”

A humorless laughed escaped my lips. “The doctors tried that already. I hate those damn pills. They don’t work, except for making me feel like crap when I wake up in the morning, and I need to be able to focus in school. That’s why I don’t take them.”

I felt his chest shake with silent laughter. “Don’t want to risk that 4.0 GPA, do you?”

Pulling out of his arms, I said, “I’ve worked too hard for my scholarship, Dane. I’m not going to lose it now because you ge upset and can’t handle my bad dreams. If you want to sleep through the night, I suggest you switch rooms. Or sleep during the day. You work nights anyway. Why not just stay awake when you get home and go to bed when I wake up?”

He chuckled. “Are you telling me to schedule my days according to your issues? I don’t think so, Luna.”

I didn’t have to look at him to know that his crystal blue eyes were burning into my skin. Dane always watched me, always kept an eye on me despite his insistence that he didn’t give a damn about me.

We’d lived together as step siblings for five years now. At first, we were cool with one another, but the five-year age difference eventually forced us apart as he became an adult and I was still stuck in high school.

Our parents met and fell in love at work – both of them doctors who gave up their private practices to travel the world and help people in poor countries. I admired my father for his humanitarian efforts, but hated him because I was left alone in the house with Dane more often than I liked.

“Are you going to leave my room now, Dane? You’ve made me feel like shit, so your job is done. I’ll just stay awake so you can go to sleep without worrying about being woken up again.”

Heavy silence fell between us and I was hyper aware of every slow breath he took behind me. His weight on the bed dipped the mattress and I had to actively keep from falling back against him.