Second Best to His Shadow

When Ethan chased his "white moonlight" overseas, I begged him to stay. He didn't even look back.

A year later, I got married.

Ethan flew home the moment he heard.

His eyes locked onto my wedding ring, and the man who'd always been so composed—so untouchable—cracked right in front of me.

His smile was strained, his voice unsteady. "Lauren." He swallowed hard. "Do you want to take it off yourself, or should I?"

A beat of silence. Then, softer, desperate: "I'll buy you any ring you want. Just take this one off. Please."

My wedding was small—just a dozen close friends and family over dinner.

My husband, sweet as he was, wouldn't let me lift a finger. He handled everything while I caught up with my best friend, Zoe.

She dabbed at her eyes, emotional. "I thought you'd wait for Ethan forever."

I smiled faintly. "So did I."

"Does he know you're married?"

I shook my head. "No. And he doesn't need to."

She hesitated. "I heard Ethan booked a flight last night. Went crazy, flew back from the States overnight."

I didn't respond.

Probably because his precious "white moonlight" had run off again.

Just like before.

The first time it happened, she'd fought with him and fled to America. He'd booked a flight right in front of me—that night—to chase after her.

I'd been curled up under a blanket, shivering from cramps, watching his long fingers tap decisively on his phone.

"Ethan," I'd whispered, teeth chattering. "Can't you stay?"

He'd glanced up, that careless smile playing on his lips. "Stay home. I'll bring you back a gift."

He tilted my chin up, brushed a kiss over my mouth, then tucked the blanket tighter around me. "Necklace or bracelet?"

I didn't answer.

Ethan loved giving jewelry—he'd showered me with it over the years. But never a ring.

Lily didn't get half as many gifts, but every one of hers was a ring.

I took a shaky breath, staring at his sharp jawline, his pale skin, the way his lashes cast shadows under his eyes. "Please," I tried again. "Just this once."

His smile faded. He patted my head like I was a dog. "You know what this is."

I did.

I'd been the one to chase him.

His only condition? No one could know—especially not Lily.

In other words: I was the backup.

I had no right to stop him.

Even though we lived together. Even though he'd brought me to family dinners.

When I stayed silent, he kissed my forehead. "Be good. I'll bring you something nice."

"When will you be back?"

He stood, buttoning his shirt with slow, deliberate movements. "A few days. Maybe."

He didn't know then that his "white moonlight" wasn't just taking a vacation—she was moving abroad to study.

He stayed a whole year.

Just before he walked out, he turned back. "Anything you want before I go? I'll make it happen."

I thought for a moment. "There's someone I've been looking for. His name's Kai. He's a war correspondent."

Ethan's expression darkened. "What's he to you?"

"My brother. My aunt's son."

His face softened. "I'll see what I can find."

Then he was gone.

I waited until the door shut before pulling a worn photo from my wallet.

The man in it was lean, handsome—so much like Ethan.

I traced the edges.

Ethan had always been forgetful.

I'd told him I grew up in an orphanage—that I didn't have an aunt.

I'd told him about Kai, the boy who'd looked after me there.

He'd listened. And forgotten.

He never questioned why I stared at his face so much.

Only his face.

Ethan loved Lily with everything he had.

Even when she strung him along for years, never committing.

And me?

I loved Ethan—

His face.

The face that reminded me of Kai's.

I'd been grateful to Ethan. When we met, I'd been a ghost—three years without word from Kai, everyone insisting he was dead.

Then I saw Ethan, my college junior, one year younger.

That first glimpse of him—so like Kai—had shattered me.

I became Ethan's shadow, carrying his bags, running his errands, playing messenger between him and Lily.

Maybe I was too good to him.

Because one night, after a fight with Lily, drunk and reckless, he'd pulled me close. "You like me?"

Looking at that face—so like Kai's—I'd nodded.

And just like that, I became his secret girlfriend.

If you could call a backup a girlfriend.

Years passed.

Ethan and Lily never worked out, but somehow, we ended up living together.

Sometimes, he'd hold me and sigh. "Lauren, you're the best woman I've ever known. You don't even care about my money."

I'd laugh. "If you're offering, I won't say no."

"But you never spend it." His bright eyes searched mine. "You don't wear the jewelry I give you. You don't push me to go public."

A pause. Then, quieter: "Sometimes I think you're using me too."

I'd bury my face in his chest, laughing.

Backup or not, it didn't matter.

Six years was a long time.

Long enough to mean something.

To me.

But not to Ethan.

He still dropped everything for Lily. If she called drunk at 2 a.m., he'd go running.

At first, he never explained.

Later, he started to—like that made it better.