You Have Your Girl-Bro, I Have My Man Bestie

In my past life.

On Ethan Roscente's birthday.

His "girl-bro" Chloe Winston announced to the whole party that she knew his measurements from every stage of his growth.

The guests roared with laughter.

Not only did he not stop her, but he even slung an arm around Chloe's shoulders, saying they were just childhood friends who'd peed together.

I couldn't take it anymore. I slapped them both across the face.

Then demanded a divorce on the spot.

Ethan turned livid, accusing me of making a scene.

He forced me to apologize to his precious "bro."

I ran out of the hotel in tears.

The screech of brakes pierced the night.

When I opened my eyes again, I was floating above my own mangled body.

Ethan cradled my corpse, weeping uncontrollably.

He went mad with revenge against Chloe, torturing her beyond recognition.

Meanwhile, I lingered before Hades' throne every day, lamenting my unfair fate.

Why was I always the one who got my heart broken and body battered?

The underworld ruler grew tired of my wailing and waved his sleeve to grant me rebirth.

"Not tortured enough? Go back and collect 100 heartbreak points. Then I might consider letting you live."

I smiled sweetly.

"Thank you, my lord."

When I opened my eyes this time, I walked into Ethan's birthday party arm-in-arm with my male best friend, Noah Lowell.

After several rounds of drinks, the game landed on Noah.

He accurately announced my measurements.

"Freshly taken. Exactly the same as in high school."

I playfully glared at him.

"Hush! Your hands aren't half as fast as my husband's!"

Ethan smashed his glass, demanding,

"Luna Roscente, what the hell is this?!"

Hermes' warning whispered in my ear:

"You're here to be tormented, not to die."

The system pinged - 5 heartbreak points gained.

I smirked.

Does tormenting scumbags count as heartbreak points?

Interesting.

...

The room fell dead silent.

Noah lazily crossed his legs under Ethan's murderous glare.

Chloe sat beside Ethan, a smug smirk playing on her lips.

I blinked innocently.

"Hubby, why so angry on your birthday?"

Veins bulged at Ethan's temples.

"You let him touch you? And you're asking me what's wrong?"

I reached for his hand as if realizing something.

"Are you... jealous?"

"It's just girl talk between besties. Don't take it seriously."

Ethan's eyes nearly popped out.

"He's a man!"

His roar made the walls vibrate.

Chloe slapped Ethan's back.

"I told you to keep an eye on your gorgeous wife."

"She and Mr. Lowell grew up together. Their bond is special, but it's not like she'd actually cheat, right?"

I nodded in agreement.

"In this day and age, if your wife hasn't left you yet, count yourself lucky. Why make a scene?"

Chloe's smirk froze.

Ethan's eyes turned red.

"He measured your..."

I cut him off impatiently.

"What's gender between sisters? Weren't you and Chloe just pee buddies?"

Ethan choked, his voice dropping.

"Chloe only sees me as a brother."

"What a coincidence! Noah's always seen me as a sister. What's the difference?"

Ethan gaped, speechless.

Another 5 heartbreak points.

I sneered inwardly.

In my past life, he'd used this exact logic to silence me.

Now hearing his own words thrown back at him—who knew he'd find them absurd too?

Noah gently tugged my sleeve.